Dear Inner Circle,
Not satisfied with the normal life-rhythm of love; its move from potential to actual to potential again; its move from intimacy to longing and back - a young woman told me just now about how she is strangling the bloke she loves. She wants to possess him. She wants him to be on call all the time. She wants him to be more predictable than a machine. She wants assurance, that he can’t give. No amount of control can change the nature of love; it is born and it dies and is born again. For this young woman however, the natural end of a loving event, threatens the end of love itself. I saw a learner driver the other day make a right turn and mount the footpath, knocking down a small tree. As I passed by, the driver was still so frozen to the steering wheel that I could see how she wasn’t in a good place to be moving and adapting and coping with all the shifts required in a task like driving. The young woman I just spoke about is in a similar spot. Stiffness and anxiety will not get her around the corner. Even if the woman could turn her partner into an object that could be controlled, the object wouldn’t be the man she loves but a shadow; a thing.
As I walked in this morning a short man, perhaps in his fifties rushed over and put his arms around me. I like this man. I could take him home. He told me that he’s sleeping rough again. Our team over the past year have done a brilliant job for this fellow finding accommodation but a couple of times, after achieving the impossible for him, the placement has broken down and he finds himself on the street again. I love this bloke. “It’s my anger” he said. I only know him as a sweet man but others have told me that he can fly into a rage. I had to leave him because I was due in a meeting but my heart is heavy for him and I’m keen to see him again.... Read the rest of Inner Circle here.